broken and worthless
suffering alone
a rancid soul
a heart of stone
not blood but hate
flows through each vein
baptised in fire
wrapped in pain
no care was given
no thought or care
no love expressed
no feelings there
unloved and left
to find my way
as an innocent boy
on my path I’d stray
I’d never know good
just all that’s bad
my own self worth
was all I had
I’d fought my battles
I’d stood my ground
shown only contempt
to those around
a beaten man
an empty shell
left in a world
i see as Hell
left broken and worthless
suffering alone
with a rancid soul and
a cold heart of stone
All Rights Reserved (C) Howard Carlyle. 2023
Let Down is a Slight Understatement.
I used to love writing stories, for whatever reason, whether it be for anthologies, cathartic reasons, or for self-publishing. My main aim was to get a ‘publishing contract’ just to prove to myself that I could do it.
I eventually got a publishing contract, goal personally met, only to feel completely and utterly let down.
I promoted the book link, and the publishers site where my book was ‘listed’ under ‘new authors and books released’ (not necessarily worded like that, but you get my drift) but the site was ‘set up’ by one of their signed authors… funnily enough, ‘their’ books were listed on there.
My book was never promoted, and neither were a few other authors with new releases.
Pissed off, dejected, let down… and whatever else could be added, was/is a slight understatement.
My advice, for what it’s worth, considering how many brilliantly talented writers I have as FB friends… a contract is only worth the paper it’s written on, which is nothing, if they do jack shit once they have your story.
The Demon Inside and I.
Maybe we were
Meant To be
This demon
Inside and I
The only one
Who listens
And never
Questions why
It never seeks
a reason
Of thoughts
Which seem absurd
My demon and I
We chat for hours
Each word uttered
never heard
It guides me through
The bad times
And misleads me
Through the good
I’m at its mercy
I always have
I would escape it
If I could
This thing has always
Been with me
I kept it hidden
So no one knew
It fuelled the fire
And urged me on
For every bad thing
that I do
I’ve learned to live
with this part of me
We’ll co-exist till
The day I die
Maybe we were
Meant To be
This demon
Inside and I
(C) Howard Carlyle. 2022.
Obsolete
give me some
pills and a nice
bottle of gin
swallow both down
without guilt
or sin
lay right back
and enjoy
the trip
don’t need no
lecture or a
life building tip
don’t need words
no comforting
spiel
I know how I
feel
my feelings are real
my last dying
breath
escapes it’s cage
no more anger
no more
rage
my purpose
now
in life obsolete
revel in my misery
as I succumb
to defeat.
The Meyerstown Secret
The Meyerstown Secret is now free, for 5 days, starting today.
The Beginning
I tried forcing myself to do it, but the more I thought about it, the more my reasoning waned.
Again, I sat and cleared my head of every thought, about everyone and every thing.
I came to the point of no return… and the deed was done.
Everything went black, and that’s when true happiness was found. Just myself, the abyss and a mass void of nothingness. The silence rang out like an orchestra reaching its deafening crescendo.
The lifeless, empty surroundings wrapped its arms around me and welcomed me like one of its own…
I’d found true happiness where nothing else could.
(C) Howard Carlyle 2021.
Copies have arrived.
If you like a copy, signed or not, of my new book OBLIVIOUS, then leave a comment or contact me on Facebook or Twitter (@gloriouslygory)
£8 free delivery in UK. Overseas cost for postage will have to be confirmed, depending on your location.
Pre order
Mybook.to/OBLIV
Gloriously Gory 
